honestly.

i’m supposed to be exercising. i’m not. i’m sitting here half dressed being generally indecisive, a little anxious… & just a little amused. i doubt getting dressed will change much of anything, but it’s not up to me. i have to leave for work soon. it’s saturday. & tomorrow is sunday. & i dread sundays like i dread sunset, like i dread a bad cold, like i dread goodbyes & long moments of awkward silences on the telephone. they’re all really beautiful but i just don’t have it in me. i’m not that kind of girl.

i’d rather pretend none of them exist.

& that’s easy to do when you have your back turned or when you’re friends with a hole in the ground. a really patient one. fine tuned to pick up every curve of your smile & tilt of your head. gorgeous curtains are something really important to have & something wonderful to come home to.

of course, the saddest thing of all is a someday. but isn’t it really beautiful, too?